The cost of discipleship

Luke 9:23 – “Then he said to them all: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.'”

This is an update from us on one particular issue, as well as a plea for your prayers on our behalf. Tomorrow, I will be standing in court on behalf of three boys who were abused repeatedly by a close family relative. Sara and I were very close to their mother who passed away last November after a long illness. She was young and left three sons. She was a care worker in one of our communities and a friend to us. (Some of you who have come on teams met her, and all of you would have met her sons.) We visited her often in the months leading up to her death. One numerous occasions, she asked us to continue to love and care for her children after she was gone. We had walked with her for a number of years and she had come to know Christ. Now she is with our Father in Heaven.

After her death, a close relative of theirs went to live with the boys in order to take care of them. He was a friend of hers, and also a friend of ours. We had known him for about a year and we trusted him. We had hopes for him. Xolani invested time in him. In February, the boys told us that he had been abusing them since he moved in, and even earlier when their mom was sick. We didn’t want to believe it but there were a number of factors that led us to believe that it was true. We were fearful at the time but we knew that we had to fight for justice and go to the police. Often, communities and families want to hide things like this. They want to deal with it themselves and pretend nothing has happened. But we knew that God wanted us to stand up for the boys, His children. So we did. This has been a long process, and now the trial has begun. I have been called on to testify in court tomorrow.

When we think of discipleship, we often mix it with teaching, but it’s actually so much more. Of course our greatest example is Jesus, who took 12 ordinary men and invested so much of his time and energy in them. They often misunderstood him, they often thought of themselves and not him, one betrayed him, one denied him, some didn’t trust him. Discipleship is costly. Discipleship is about doing life together. It is a deep investment in someone, especially when that person could very well fail or hurt you. It is about being devoted to prayer for the person you are discipling. It is about sharing honestly with one another, and being accountable to one another. We see this often in the early church and the apostles. Accountability was important – a tough example of the importance of accountability is Ananias and Sapphira. Acts is filled with rich teachings of fellowship, which is a basis of discipleship.

If I could choose, I would choose not go to court. Well, if I am being honest, I would choose that this never would have happened, but especially that it would not have been done by a friend of mine. This man is someone I trusted, someone I invested time in, someone I hoped for, someone I prayed for, someone I had committed to. Even today I pray that he will have a repentant heart tomorrow even though he hasn’t shown one this whole time. As I think about my relationship with him, I question myself and wonder if it was really true discipleship. When we decide to commit to people, we need to remember that it will cost us. I think it is part of taking up our cross daily. Look at Jesus’ disciples, how they hurt him, and even us how he gives and gives and gives to us and how often we turn our backs on him or deny him. Discipling others can bear fruit or it can hurt us, probably both. We know that the harvest is plenty but the workers are few. Our cross is sometimes heavy but it is always worth it. Tomorrow I will be face to face with this man, and I know that I have to speak out against him for the sake of God’s children.

Please pray that the truth with come out. Pray for a change of heart for this man. Please pray for the boys. Please pray for peace in my heart. Please pray for God’s peace to reign in the whole situation. We serve a God who is both just and full of mercy. Please pray for both of those characteristics to shine through tomorrow. We are so thankful for God’s sovereignty and that is where we place our trust.